That flag isn’t accepted by the espota program, did you mean --port=8266? This is already default so no need to specify.
No, ArduinoOTA from the library registry is a different library from the ArduinoOTA library which is contained in the Arduino-ESP32 core (arduino-esp32/libraries/ArduinoOTA at master · espressif/arduino-esp32 · GitHub). For libraries within the core, do not use lib_deps, these are found automatically.
Make sure when you do a “Verbose Build” that you get a library dependency view which only references core internal libraries as in
Then it will compile.