How to include esp-idf v5 headers when framework=arduino?

ESP-IDF 5.x will be used as base in Arduino 3.x.
Arduino 3.x is currently still a pre-release and is not yet supported by PlatformIO.

You can create an ESPIDF project with Arduino as ESPIDF component. You can find a detailed post about this here: Arduino as ESPIF Component in PlatformIO - solution that works

Otherwise you have to wait until Arduino 3.x is released and supported in PlatformIO.